Sadness

I don't even know where to begin.  I didn't go to church today.  Steve and the kids went.  I was productive though.  Went to Wal-Mart and did some household shopping.  Did some laundry.  Kind of enjoyed the peace and quiet.  But still it was a sad time.  I miss church.  I think I do anyway.  I don't really know, maybe I don't.  I'm actually starting to not even care.  It's nice not having to get up on Sunday and make sure that everyone else gets up and dressed and fed in time to be out the door by a certain time.  I just don't know anymore........about anything.  I'm just tired.  Can't wait till next Sunday to see how wonderful it turns out to be.  It is Mother's Day after all.  I'm really developing a bad attitude.  Can't you tell?  I don't like it either but I don't know what to do about it.  Praying certainly hasn't helped any.  Praying hasn't helped much of anything lately.  I'm about ready to quit that too along with going to church. 

Sunday

I stayed home

I didn't go to church today.  I opted to sleep instead.  Emily came in my room around 7:00 a.m. and I got her to lay down with me and we went back to sleep until 9:30.  I just had absolutely NO desire to visit yet another church this morning.  I'm not sure I have the desire to do it ever again actually. 

How do I explain how I feel about it?  It's almost pointless.  No matter where we go one of us (me or Steve) is going to hate it or find something wrong with it.  So why bother, right?  I'm just so frustrated with the whole thing.  We've been here in Nashville for 6 months now.  We have been to approximately just as many churches.  There's two that I like enough that I wouldn't mind going to other activities during the week but don't see the point in even bothering because it's not where I'm going to be going to church, it's not going to become my church "home".  So.......here we are.  Churchless and me losing any and all interest in finding a church. 

Sunday Eve.......

Here it is Saturday night and once again I'm faced with the dread that is Sunday.  We still haven't found a church here in Nashville.  We've been to some that Steve likes, some that I like but NONE that WE both like.  So Sunday has become a day of dread and angst.  I have just about lost any and all desire to even get up and go anywhere on Sunday mornings. 

The difference this week is Steve is in Florida and he at least will get to go to Lifepoint.  I'm here at home and my parents are visiting.  So.....what to do, what to do. 

It's just so stinking frustrating and discouraging.  You'd think that we could find at least one church that we could both strike a happy medium on.  I am just so tired of not having a church "home".  All my life I have had a church.  It is the one and only thing I have always had, that has been constant and consistent and dependable in my life.  No more.  It's an empty feeling. 

I think I'll just stay home tomorrow. 

HOME SWEET HOME!!!!!

I never realized how much I truly loved living in Nashville until spending the majority of two weeks away.  One week in Florida and a few days in Kentucky both before and after Christmas. 

It was SO good to get home.  A week in Florida was.......well.......let's put it this way......It was really good seeing all of those we did get to see and hang out with the few that we got the opportunity to hang out with and for those of you that we didn't get to see.......maybe next time.  Next Christmas......we're staying here!  No more 80+ degree Christmases for us. 

On another note.....

We visited another church this past Sunday.  I really liked it.  The kids both loved it and I think Steve liked it......enough so that we are going to give them another shot this week.  One really big downfall.  It is about 35 minutes away.  So, just pray that if this is where God wants us that we will feel it and if not that we will be lead to the right place.  I feel really good about this one though.  :) 

Well, it's Halo night and the guys have already started playing.  I have one more kid to get to bed then I think I'm going to go too as I haven't been feeling well lately.

PEACE!